Im actually on hot topic's site right now looking for shit. Lol. For christmas that i might want. I pretty much get all my shit from hot topic.

Well anyways im pissed soff now. Its stupid. Well lets start with friday okay well i got home from school at like fucking 5 or some shit which is gay because thats not a regular fucking day. Its fucking GAY!

Right now i really want to kill my mom. WTF! Why the hell would she call my teacher and tell her im texting. God! She is so stupid sometimes. Its so stupid. If that fucking teacher at Pheonix doesn't let me call my mom im going to fucking walk out of this stupid trailer...I dont even know why i am  going to this school. Its not stupid & i can do anything i set my mind too and which right now im setting my mind to getting out of this stupid school. What is the point of going to an alternative program expecially if it means taking the easy way out of the whole learning shit anyways. So, i guess im just going to get over it and go to the other school. Because this school is bullshit. Bullshit with a fucking capital fucking B!

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG!
I want to kill some fucking one.
Im not doing shit here in this stupid physics class right now. Its stupid i dont care about this stuff I'd rather die than go to this school. Its just plain fucking stupid. Id rather be around people who actually are nice and wont take away my phone. God! I fucking hate my mom. She needs to die and so does that stupid teacher.

Right now im listening to Soulja Boy. They have a really good song by I Set my Friends on Fire and its called Crank Dat Calvary boy. Its a screamo fock version of Crank Dat Soulja Boy & they also have one called Crank Dat Yank. Its funny. I love the beat.

Sunday I was so stressed out i cryed & its gay because i didn't want to cry but i was so stressed out more than two people were talking to me at once and it was confuzing me. My heart started racing and i just screamed at everyone pretty much, I didn't know what else to do. I had to cool down so i fucking yelled.

Well anyways. Im bored and there is nothing to do. The bitch took away my phone and now i cant text anyone (not even my boyfriend, which is gay)!!! I need to just blow up right now its so fucking RETARDED! Grrrrrr! Rawwwrrrr! Its not funny at all. If i blow up ill get suspended. But, someone needs to chill out and its fucking me. Just all the shit is bullshit. I was even having problems with the dumb faggot guard in the hall telling me to take my headphones off. That pissed me off. I told him to back the fuck up because he was following me everywhere i fucking went it was really fucking scary, he is a fucking stalker and i pervert, then he told some fucker to come and tell me to take my headphones out again but when i took them out and i walked away from her i put them right back in. I dont listen to people i dont know and even if i dont know them i will not fucking talk to them because i really dont like people who tell me what to do even if they are adults. Its stupid. I can tell myself what to do so if i want to take my headphones out i will take them out but if someone else tells me to take them out i wont because i dont know them so they just need to get over the whole fact that i dont like them and i dont need their bullshit in my life.

Zacky Vengeance is so sexy.

HE who makes a beast out of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.
I tried to drive all through the night,
the heat stroke ridden weather, the barren empty sights.
No oasis here to see, the sand is singing deathless words to me.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

As I adjust to my new sights the rarely tired lights will take me to new heights.
My hand is on the trigger I'm ready to ignite.
Tomorrow might not make it but everything's all right.
Mental fiction follows me; show me what it's like to be set free.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.

Caught here in a fiery blaze, won't lose my will to stay.
These eyes won't see the same, after I flip today.

Sometimes I don't know why we'd rather live than die,
we look up towards the sky for answers to our lives.
We may get some solutions but most just pass us by,
don't want your absolution cause I can't make it right.
I'll make a beast out of myself, gets rid of all the pain of being a man.

Can't you help me as I'm startin' to burn (all alone).
Too many doses and I'm starting to get an attraction.
My confidence is leaving me on my own (all alone).
No one can save me and you know I don't want the attention.

So sorry you're not here I've been sane too long my vision's so unclear.
Now take a trip with me but don't be surprised when things aren't what they seem.
I've known it from the start all these good ideas will tear your brain apart.
Scared but you can follow me I'm too weird to live but much too rare to die.

Baby, i had so much fun with you last night. I fell more in love with you by every minute we spent together last night. My one and only true love. I want you in my life forever. Your kiss is so sweet yet tender and loving and also very caring. It surprised me when you grabbed my yhand last night and held it. I wish we could somehow re-live that night, that wonderful night of October 11th 2007. Even though my mom was there we still had some time alone. Im not nervous around you anymore. Its funny because it usually takes me a while to get used to a boy. But you are a different story and its wonderful because your better than all my exies. You are my baby. =) Never leave me. But i know you wont...and you know how i feel about you. Its a wonderful and amazing feeling. Im happy i finally got to meet you last night it was great it made me so happy...i couldn't help but smile the whole time. My mom likes you and she trusts you so keep her trust please.

I showed all my friends my picture of me & you. Its an adorable picture or us. Its my wallpaper on my phone and i totally love it...everytime i see you and me in that picture when i open my phone i smile and i always want to kiss you. I love you baby so much. Stay the same.

Okay Okay. I haven't told you guys that i was in the hospital for 1 week, because i threatned to kill myself for the 2nd time. So my mom took me to the hospital which was the gayest thing ever. It was like a fucking AA meeting every day. It was killing me and they also made us wake up at like 7 in the morning like it was fucking school or some shit. I hated it but luckily the day of my parent meeting i got to go home. But, they put me on so much new medicine it was ridiculos. NOw, i go to regluar high school but only in the morning then i go to another school its kinda retarded but im not used to it just yet...Hopefully i will be soon though. It just depends on me.

I HAVE A NEW SIGNATURE!

Lol. Im so retarded.

Well i talked to Rusty the other day and i have a bad feeling that day i was talking to him and he said that he got caught stealing pills. I told him to stop but he didn't listen to me. But, now he has court and he will probably wont get a punishment that is really bad. But, it made me so mad when i found that out, because i kept telling him something bad was going to happen if he didn't stop. BUt those are the consiquences that he has to take so yeah.

But thank god he stoped for me and i love him for it.

I love you Rusty.

<3